Day 22: A Letter To Make You Smile


My last couple of letters have been fairly deep,  perhaps not my letter to Santa but still, Christmas gifts are nothing to laugh about, so I decided to write you a letter that would make you smile. The problem with this concept has been that so many of the letters I’ve begun tonight have had to be abandoned due to content concerns.

For example, my first idea was to discuss what my life would be like if I were a man. I know, in theory it’s a great idea right? The problem was, that about a third of the way through I became so frustrated with my perception of how a man would see my life that I wanted to throw the computer through the window. It wasn’t funny, it was sarcastic and small minded and cliched – it also focused far too heavily on breasts.  So I took a break and started watching Criminal Minds instead. For anyone out there who may also be trying to create something humorous or uplifting, Criminal Minds probably isn’t the best ‘mood setter’ for your creative juices.
Next I tried something similar to my previous attempt and simply examined the differences between men and women. No, not physically, but rather looking at how they experience the world. I was actually really enjoying writing about this, until I realised that once again I had written nearly 200 words about breasts. Not appropriate at all and at this stage I was beginning to suspect that I may have issues.

So by this time I wasn’t just struggling with the frustration of writers block, but I was also considering my possible need for counseling – due to my disturbing preoccupation with breasts (I’m doing it again aren’t I?). I hadn’t achieved anything more than  350 inappropriate and therefore deleted words.
I was fuming, I needed chocolate. Turns out we didn’t have any! Why was there no chocolate in my house?

What on earth could I possibly write about that would make you smile. There was clearly nothing left in the entire world that was funny. All humour had been sucked from the universe (along with all the chocolate in my house), leaving nothing for me to write about tonight that would elicit even a smirk from the most lighthearted reader.

So I’m sorry to inform you that this letter contains nothing hilarious, funny or even mildly amusing. I misled you with my affable and enticing title, instead I have spent the last 400 words telling you exactly how I have tried and failed to deliver on that very promise. I have learned nothing, I did not grow as a human being, there was no journey, arc or epiphany.

Wait a minute.

I did learn one thing.

Did you know that there are over 138 slang words for breasts?!

Ha! Made you smile!

See Ya! xo


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mick thinks about breasts too
    Nov 24, 2011 @ 22:42:52

    that was a very imbreastive article. it was great to see a woman inbreastigate the male mind in detail. all the breast with your future research,
    seriously though,back when i was at school, i once heard another student get up in front of a school assembly and say that he had really breast by the Lord, yet barely anyone even noticed. i started to think that i just heard what i wanted to hear rather than what was actually said. but he REALLY said it. it was so hilarious, yet i got the filthy looks from people around me for laughing.


    • ameliahunter
      Nov 28, 2011 @ 13:18:32

      Mick, I read this comment 5 days ago. I only just stopped laughing enough to reply now! It was certainly the breast of the breast when it came to feedback on this post! Thanks for taking the time to drop by! Take care and be breast!


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