Sorry

I know, it’s been forever since I posted anything. To be perfectly honest it’s been forever since I’ve written anything!

The only way I can explain it is; that for a while there, all the joy and love got sucked out of even the idea of writing! There were a whole lot of factors involved, but I will make you a list of my feelings so you get an idea of where my head was at when it came to writing anything these last few months.

Overwhelmed, Doubting, Lost, Guilty, Undermined, Frustrated, Disappointed, Useless,

Bound, Failure, Past, Tired, SPENT!

Does that help? Don’t fret though, I neatly compartmentalised these darker feelings and they only remained attached to my writing. As to the rest of my life; it’s been going along nicely, just minus a few thousand words.

So who am I apologising to? Those of you who have ever landed here by accident, glanced at a post here and there. To you who have encouraged me with your comments, and have felt a connection to what I write. To my friends who ask me why I haven’t written anything lately. To my family who have been patient and protective of me. To myself.

When it comes to putting words on a page, it is an extension of my heart. I write what I feel, what I see, what I hope and dream. This writing isn’t malleable, it’s not domesticated or house trained! One day the words will paint a beautiful forest cathedral of the most violent pink blossom, the next they will lift the heart of a treasured friend.

I lost that, I forgot the love and excitement that blooms inside of me when I begin to write. The childlike wonder I feel when my imagination takes me off the path of what is known and unveils what is hidden, and magical and impossible!

I found it again! That vibrancy of capturing what only I can imagine, the courage to defeat my inner foe, the knowledge that who I am is exactly who I am meant to be.

So, I’m sorry I got lost there for a while. But I am back now, and I am bubbling with things to share.

Advertisements

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Natalie Giddings
    Dec 15, 2010 @ 04:14:06

    bout time!

    Reply

  2. marion
    Jan 25, 2011 @ 17:47:12

    That’s a hard place to be, but what I love about what you’ve written here is how you were just there, in that space, and it was, well, okay. I’ve been there, too, and I think you’re right that we just need to be there and trust that we’ll come back to the joy, back to seeing, back to writing. It comes back.

    Look forward to reading more!

    Reply

    • ameliahunter
      Jan 26, 2011 @ 08:09:44

      Marion,
      You have just made my day. Thank you for your encouragement, you captured me with your words and for that I am truly grateful. Today you are my awaited surprise! There is always one. Hidden away somewhere just waiting to gift us with a smile.
      May you find your own daily treasure; buried somewhere just beneath the mundane.

      xxoo Amelia

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: