Day 23: A Letter To Someone Who Has Changed My Life

28 Nov 2011 6 Comments

by ameliahunter in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Dr Paul,

I guess it’s about time I told you all of these things, it’s certainly been a long time coming. You see when I began this blog, my first post was dedicated to one of the two people who had a huge influence upon me taking steps toward becoming a ‘writer’. In that post I hinted that I would eventually tell the story of the first person that nudged me onto this path of words. The person who quite literally changed my life.

That person was you.

It’s better than fiction really. A depressed, overweight housewife goes to visit the local GP at a sleepy country medical practice. She wants to lose weight, expecting to be glanced over and handed a prescription for diet pills (again) she has no idea that her life is about to change.

I don’t know what you saw that day, or if you even remember me, but I will always remember you. I remember leaving your office with an assignment instead of a prescription, you asked me to write the story of my life and bring it back to you in a week.
So I wrote, and wrote, and wrote! I remember my husband asking me one night as I scratched away in my notebook, if I was going to have to pay you extra for how long it would take you to read it! Eventually, satisfied that I had captured how I saw my life I gave you the missive and waited for your evaluation. I also suspected that as well as diet pills you may also add a couple of extra prescriptions!

I will never forget your face as you sat before me the following week. You held my chronicle in your hands and looked me in the eye.

“I want you to make me a promise. I want you to faithfully promise me something”.

My heart was in my throat by this stage, I think I murmured a strained “okay”.

“I want you to promise me that you will go to university”.

I’m fairly certain I stopped processing most everything else after that, university was the last thing I expected you to say! Yet, with that one word a light switched on inside my soul. To this day that light hasn’t dimmed, it continues to burn brighter with every step I take on this path of words and tales.

I know I left your office that day filled to overflowing with encouragement. Filled with vision as I hadn’t been before, you looked beyond the frumpy and lost person who wandered into your office, and deposited hope and possibility. I could write for decades and never come close to explaining the profound and pivotal role you have played in my life, I will be glad if this letter provides you with even the slightest glimpse of the changes your influence has wrought.

It may seem strange to others reading this, that from that point my contact with you was very little. I think the last time I saw you was to show you my acceptance letter into university. So let me take this opportunity to give you a quick ‘highlights reel’ of the last 4 years…

  • 2008-2009 Achieved a HD average across all subjects.
  • 2009 Gave birth to Samuel Shaun.
  • 2010 Began this blog and continued with study maintaining my HD average.
  • 2011 Was accepted into Oxford University’s Creative Writing Summer Program and spent 5 weeks studying and exploring England and Scotland.

Obviously I could expand each of those points a million times over, but I really just wanted to give you a glimpse of how my life has changed. Because of you.

Because as a doctor, you chose to see me as a story instead of a case study. You unlocked something that allowed me to make choices I didn’t even know were available to me. You opened my eyes to a new future, if I was brave enough to jump into it. I am so glad I was!

I don’t know how many other people you’ve influenced or empowered as you have me, and though I’m only one I hope that you understand how thankful I am for you. My life has forever been made infinitely more wonderful, adventurous, imaginative and colourful because you dared to be more than every other doctor I have known.

I now understand that we can never know just how much our words, our encouragement, our belief can transform a persons life.

Thank you from the depths of my heart.

Amelia xo

P.S. I’m still chunky ;)

Day 22: A Letter To Make You Smile

23 Nov 2011 2 Comments

by ameliahunter in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Hi,

My last couple of letters have been fairly deep,  perhaps not my letter to Santa but still, Christmas gifts are nothing to laugh about, so I decided to write you a letter that would make you smile. The problem with this concept has been that so many of the letters I’ve begun tonight have had to be abandoned due to content concerns.

For example, my first idea was to discuss what my life would be like if I were a man. I know, in theory it’s a great idea right? The problem was, that about a third of the way through I became so frustrated with my perception of how a man would see my life that I wanted to throw the computer through the window. It wasn’t funny, it was sarcastic and small minded and cliched – it also focused far too heavily on breasts.  So I took a break and started watching Criminal Minds instead. For anyone out there who may also be trying to create something humorous or uplifting, Criminal Minds probably isn’t the best ‘mood setter’ for your creative juices.
Next I tried something similar to my previous attempt and simply examined the differences between men and women. No, not physically, but rather looking at how they experience the world. I was actually really enjoying writing about this, until I realised that once again I had written nearly 200 words about breasts. Not appropriate at all and at this stage I was beginning to suspect that I may have issues.

So by this time I wasn’t just struggling with the frustration of writers block, but I was also considering my possible need for counseling - due to my disturbing preoccupation with breasts (I’m doing it again aren’t I?). I hadn’t achieved anything more than  350 inappropriate and therefore deleted words.
I was fuming, I needed chocolate. Turns out we didn’t have any! Why was there no chocolate in my house?

What on earth could I possibly write about that would make you smile. There was clearly nothing left in the entire world that was funny. All humour had been sucked from the universe (along with all the chocolate in my house), leaving nothing for me to write about tonight that would elicit even a smirk from the most lighthearted reader.

So I’m sorry to inform you that this letter contains nothing hilarious, funny or even mildly amusing. I misled you with my affable and enticing title, instead I have spent the last 400 words telling you exactly how I have tried and failed to deliver on that very promise. I have learned nothing, I did not grow as a human being, there was no journey, arc or epiphany.

Wait a minute.

I did learn one thing.

Did you know that there are over 138 slang words for breasts?!

Ha! Made you smile!

See Ya! xo

Day 21: A Letter To Someone Who Is Broken

22 Nov 2011 6 Comments

by ameliahunter in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Image

Another Beautiful Zaldy Infante Image

Hello Friend,

Is today a good day or a bad day?

I’m sure you’ve had, and will continue to have both. I’m not going to pretend to have all of the answers for you, I won’t even pretend to have any, I’ll just come and sit by you for a while, if that’s okay with you.
I don’t mind if you don’t want to talk, I’m fine with silence, I know that sometimes in the silence we hear the clearest. I just don’t want you to be alone, not even for a moment. No one should walk this path alone, even though thats exactly how it feels. That you’re detached, that the same ground you were conquering yesterday has crumbled around you, leaving you stranded and abandoned on an escarpment built for one. You are facing sharp rocks of grief that tear away at your heart, you are bewildered and disorientated in a blinding fog of powerlessness, and you are battered by storms filled with unanswered questions. Yes, I know what it feels like.

People may try to make you feel better by explaining that you are simply one of many, One of a countless number who have experienced this. They will tell you that endings are simply a part of life. Ignore them. They have no idea what you are feeling.
No one has ever felt this kind of pain, this kind of grief, this kind of loss, because this is your unique torture. This belongs to you.

I don’t mind if you want to cry. Crying isn’t a bad thing. I think that sometimes crying is like bathing a wound that no one else can see, the salt in our tears soothes, and begins the process of healing. It keeps the area clean and free of any bitterness or anger that can get stuck in there if we try to hold everything inside. Crying is the way we acknowledge that something hurts, and I know this is hurting.

I want you to rest. fold yourself into loving arms. I know that you have those around you. Let them carry you for a little while. Anything that is broken must have a time of rest, a time of stillness to let the trauma settle. Don’t worry, the world will keep turning even if you aren’t busy doing all of the things you normally do, and those things will still be there waiting for you when you are ready for them.

You will heal, but yes there will be a scar, however that scar can become something beautiful. You can find the promise within the pain, and you can break through into the sunshine once more. I know it.

So for now my broken friend, I will just sit here beside you and hold your hand. I will keep my breathing steady, so that you have a rhythm to follow. I will be here through it all, in any way you need me.

That is what friendship is all about.

Now close your eyes and rest, the sun will come out again in the morning.

Love Always

Amelia xo

Day 20: A Letter To Someone Who Is Working Too Hard

21 Nov 2011 2 Comments

by ameliahunter in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Overextended,

I have been watching you lately – not in a creepy voyeuristic way or anything, just in the way a person watches out for someone they care about. I have to say, I’m a little concerned. Some people bite off more than they can chew, you seem to jump right to the chewing and don’t even look at the size of your portion! Believe me I’m the last person to lecture anybody about portion control, so it’s just as well I’m not pursuing the food analogy any further, but seriously I am worried that you’ll make yourself sick one way or another if you keep going the way you are.

The thing about gifted people is, they often have infinite possibilities available to them at any given moment. There are so many things that are within the realm of their ‘Possible’,  that they often mistake their opportunities for obligation.

For example: I have a car – therefore it is within the scope of my ‘Possible’ to offer a lift to every single person I see walking along the side of the road.  Being the kind hearted and good willed person I am, I know that my offer of transport could have a positive and uplifting effect upon the recipient. I could mean the difference between them arriving at their destination late or on time, wet or dry, even dead or alive (although if they were dead they probably wouldn’t actually arrive, but you get what I mean).

So, knowing all of the above, acknowledging that my assistance could have such a huge impact upon someone else’s life, knowing the fact that I have a car when they do not; am I therefore obligated to offer them assistance? Don’t look at me like I’m being stupid, I’m making a point!

Just because you can do something, doesn’t always mean that you should.

That’s why God invented busses, trains, taxis, horses and bikes, heck he even invented feet! That’s what I’m saying, while yes, you are a possible answer to a need, there are also many other answers available as well – even if you aren’t aware of them.

You know when they give the safety announcement on a plane? One of the things that always makes me uncomfortable is the part when they talk about the oxygen masks. They calmly tell parents to fit their own mask before they attend to their children. The mother inside of me is screaming “Are you insane!?” because in everything, my kids lives will always come before mine. But the fact is, the pretty lady with the yellow life jacket over her perfectly made up head is right – unless I have enough oxygen to keep my brain functioning, the chance of me being any kind of help to my kids is greatly reduced. You have to take the time to make sure that you’re okay, before you can be confident that you can help someone else.

I’m not saying that you need to stop everything that you’re doing, I’m not even saying that what you have been doing is too much. I’m just saying take a breath, check your oxygen levels, check those around you. If you need a break, take one. There are other hands, feet, taxis and busses all around you who will do whatever you need them to, all you need to do is ask.

Waiting for you to exhale.

Amelia x

Day 19: A Letter To Santa

19 Nov 2011 4 Comments

by ameliahunter in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Santa,

Define Good…?

Do you mean ‘good’ like Mother Theresa good? Because I don’t know anyone with leprosy, and if I’m being really honest changing a nappy makes me nauseated , I just don’t know how I’d go with bits of people falling off.

Does that mean that I’m not good?

Or do you mean ‘good’ like Steve Jobs was good? Because while I really really love gizmos and gadgets and all things techno, I don’t have the slightest idea how they work and I don’t know my 1′s from my 0′s when it comes to binary! How am I supposed to measure up with a guy that has changed the face of technology for longer than I have been alive?

I really think you could have been a little clearer on this stipulation you’ve put out there for us! Good, what is good? How good? How often? Are we meant to be good all the time? If that’s what you had in mind, then only Jesus should expect a visit from you at Christmas. That’s kind of ironic since Christmas is also his birthday, and that would mean he’s going to get presents anyway – not that he doesn’t deserve them, he does because he’s good. That’s my point! Do you see my dilemma? I really love gifts at Christmas time but with all this confusion over your qualifications I’m more than a little concerned that I’ll be disappointed on Christmas morning.

Do you have a scale of ‘good-ness’? Are certain behaviours rewarded more than others? Are those times that I am good, cancelled out by those times that I’m not? Do my acts of kindness get erased by my moments of bitterness or selfishness? When I speak with anger and my words cause hurt, does that nullify the times that I seek to comfort or encourage? It’s all very confusing, and I’m a grown up, how are kids meant to understand what you want from them?

So I’m just going to go out on a limb here and come clean. I’m not good. Not really. I know what I think when I’m hurting or angry, I know how I’ve wished for others to be bought low just so I didn’t feel so bad. I have have lied, I have cheated (at pictionary) and I have stolen. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m pretty sure none of those things qualify me as being ‘good’. It’s much easier to sigh and accept the fact that I don’t measure up than it is to constantly try and convince you and myself that I am better than I probably am.

There it is, the facts. I am a human being. I make mistakes, I hurt people, I make bad decisions, I get grumpy for no reason and sometimes I get really bad road rage. So, if that means that I miss out on a visit from you this year or (baring a lobotomy or sudden divinity) any year, then I guess I will just have to accept it.

However.

Just in case you decide to be a wonderful and upstanding example of ‘good’, please find attached a list of things I would like for Christmas this year.

Anything from Pandora
Lots of stationery
Pretty red shoes
An air-conditioner
Anything sparkly and shiny
*You have always had wonderful taste in the past, so if you think you know better feel free to improvise :)

Sincerely (trying to be good)

Amelia xo

Day 18: A Letter To Someone Who Wants To Give Up

18 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment

by ameliahunter in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dear Weary One,

I don’t know who this letter is for, I just know that it’s has been rattling around inside of me for the last 2 days. I know you must be out there somewhere, so if you’re reading this and it’s hitting home, then please take it to heart. I would tell you these things in person if I could, but for now letter form will have to suffice.

I get the feeling that you are just so tired. You’re tired of fighting through the same rubbish every day. You’re tired of the act, the monotony and the endlessness of it all. You’re just plain tired, in fact no one in the history of the universe has ever been as tired as you are right now. That’s right, no one. Ever. Ever.

You don’t want to keep reading because you think I’m going to get all pep-talkey on you, well I’m not making any promises but I will try to keep the sunshiny rainbow stuff to a minimum, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that things can always get worse. You could be forced to spend the next 3 minutes with a rainbow pooping space traveling pixel-cat with the worlds most irritating soundtrack! Observe.

Now that I’ve shown you that life can in fact always get worse, let’s get back to discussing you. I have no idea what’s bought you to the place where you no longer posess the vision, the desire or even the energy to face your future, all I know is that for some reason todays letter is for you. The least you can do is read it, it can’t be as bad as another 3 minutes of Nyan Cat up there!

So here’s what I want to say to you.

If you’re still breathing, then there’s still hope! – In the words of the uberwise Kung Fu Panda “Yesterday’s history, tomorrow’s a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present”. Now, you can’t get cross at me for how corny that is, it was uttered by a panda. No one can be mad at pandas, they’re way too cute!

Seriously though, you need to understand that if there’s still life left in your body, then no matter how bad you feel right now your purpose in this world is not complete. There is an incredible plan for you, you’ve just wandered away from the path a little bit! I get it I have been there so many times I’ve lost count, but I have also taken my own and other very smart and loving people’s advice and just kept on breathing. Eventually you will find your way through! Dory had it right all along!

 

Yes, I am quoting cartoons an awful lot in this post, but you know what? When my 2 year old falls down, even when he has really hurt himself you want to know what he does? He picks himself up, runs over to either myself or his daddy and presents us with his injury. He expects us to press a gentle kiss upon the ‘owie’ so that it can be made all better and he can continue on his way.

Yes, life is really that simple! It really does come down to a few very simple points.

  1. Stuff Happens – It can really suck sometimes, it can make you cry, it can even make you bleed, but if it doesn’t kill you, then I guess that means you’re not out of the game yet. Awesome!
  2. Take your ‘owie’ to the right people – Can you imagine what would happen if my child took his injury to another injured and crying child instead of coming to his parents? It would turn into the loudest, saddest, most unhappy place in the playground! A hurting child will not have sympathy and tenderness required to care for another hurting and crying child. Instead they will feel the need to cry even louder to ensure that the real caregivers can hear them and help. Don’t try to get the help you need from someone who is in the same place as you are! Take yourself to the people who have what you need to get yourself through this time!
  3. Once you have what you need, don’t just sit there afraid of getting hurt again – get back out there and laugh and play! Simply enjoy the feeling of the wind in your hair as you go down the slide, or the giddiness of the merry-go-round. Life happens in the simple pleasures. If you have forgotten that, then you will forever   feel that you lack what you need to live a happy and joy filled life.
  4. A smile changes everything and everything can change with a smile. Start there and the rest will follow.

Don’t give up. The best is yet to come!

Love you

xo 

Day 17: A Letter to a Twi-Hard

16 Nov 2011 3 Comments

by ameliahunter in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Dearest Twi-Hard,

I am writing you this letter, because quite frankly I feel that you’re in need of a voice of reason before you watch the newest installment of the Twilight Saga. Now I like the movies too, although perhaps not as much as a certain English girl on YouTube (I won’t post the video here because she swears so much!), but I have to admit that some fans make me a little embarrassed to be a 30 year old woman at the movies…

It isn’t the screaming youngsters who disturb me, they’re entitled to their share of teen obsession just as every generation that’s gone before them. I’m thinking for my parents generation it was Elvis and The Beatles, while the faces that adorned the walls of my friends growing up were Christian Slater, NKOTB and for a brief meteoric moment Edward Furlong. So, as I was saying, todays teenage girls are welcome to swoon at the sight of a life-size Edward shaped cardboard cutout at the local shopping mall, this doesn’t disturb me in the least.

No, the demographic that has me cringing are the host of 30-somethings who, inspired by the angst-filled first-love drama in these stories, sigh and pine over the barely-past-puberty lead characters. Frankly it’s gross. I mean ladies, I sat in the theatre on opening night of New Moon and was horrified to see women older than me ogling Taylor Lautner when he took his shirt off! Taylor Lautner was 17 then people, that is just very very wrong.

You need to understand that you are a grown up now, your days of wanting to your life to resemble an episode of  Neighbours or Home and Away are long behind you. By now you should have figured out that real life simply doesn’t happen like this, if it did, you would have survived 2 fires, 3 explosions, 1 hurricane and 1 freak tidal wave, 4 fatal car accidents, 1 case of amnesia and 3 pregnancies 2 of which you were uncertain of the father. I say thank God for a mundane life!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t enjoy the movies, or even allow yourself to indulge in the nostalgia they evoke. I am simply asking you to control yourself, keep those feelings inside and instead smile indulgently at the teens whose turn it is to obsess. Your life is what you make it, don’t make it a sad and pitiful thing by mooning over children who were still in nappies while you were having your first kiss!

Please just bear it in mind okay?

Sincerely grateful

xo

 

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